Autopsy Results

We got the autopsy results for our son, and it turns out that he passed away from an infection called chorioamnionitis. no one is sure how he got it since i had a doctors appointment the day before and my water was still in tact. apparently he had the infection for a couple of days and then when i went into labor he was too sick to survive the labor.  I am utterly confused because i didn't have a fever or anything and there is only a 2% chance of getting the infection... and my water wasn't even broken, my labor was only a couple of hours and there is no sign of how on earth he got the infection. ugg so it just really upsets me that he was sick and i had no idea. i am supposed to be the mom, i am suppose to protect him from all of that.  how on earth does my son go full term and then die from an infection during labor.  from what i have read, they say that if you get the infection with a full term baby then the baby should be fine. it should only be life threatening when you are in your 1st or 2nd trimester.  Reggie was Healthy the entire pregnancy!!!
sooo i guess now that i've had that infection, my chances double for any following pregnancies. i know when you look at it your thinking that the odds are pretty low, but when it's something that has killed your child and they tell you that your chances of getting it again double.... for me thats something to scare me enough to never want to go through that again.   Maybe Reggie will be our only child, maybe we'll need to adopt, i don't know if i'll ever get over this enough to do anything.  
it makes me really sad to think that i wont have a posterity, that i wont have children to watch grow and take care of, or grandchildren to visit and spoil. Who's gonna help take care of us when we are old and we need to go into a home.  well whatever happens in this life, i am glade that i have my husband and that we are an eternal family..

spending time with my son

10 months 

40 weeks

281 days

6,744 hours

404,640 minutes

24,278,400 seconds

I miss every single second of time i had with my son!!!
I know that i will see him again and that we will be an eternal family. it makes me so happy to think about and i love that, but it's his handsome little body, his cute little personality, feeling him move around inside of my stomach. i miss singing to him, talking to him and just having him around. I feel alone now that he's gone to live with his Heavenly Father. 

I MISS YOU

I REALLY REALLY REALLY 

MISS MY SON VERY MUCH!!!

that's all for now.

Rest in peace my sweet son!

 everyday i think of you, everyday i love you and everyday i miss you!